Here we go again

Only for real this time! Big life changes coming and I need someplace to put it all…stay tuned!

monkey wrench

Dang it. It never snows here and I’m never sick. Wouldn’t you know on the night I’m supposed to leave for my trip home for x-mas, it is snowing and I’m still sick! Is this a sign? I reeeeaally don’t want to make this longass drive by myself with the girls, then shack up with my crazy family for two weeks, so I guess I’m looking for a reason not to go. Of course I will go anyway, but inside I will be protesting it.

Wish me luck, would you please? Prayers, wishes, vibes– I’ll take whatever I can get.

a death in the family

We experienced a loss last week. Bunny’s very last binky (or ‘kinky’ as she calls it) finally bit the dust. She chewed a hole in it and had been warned that if she did this, the binky would be all gone. Wednesday afternoon, she informed me “Kinky boken, mama.” My heart sank because I knew what this meant (and the inevitable drama that would ensue). With a heavy heart, I went and got the little trashcan from the bathroom and I let Bunny drop the bink in there. Bye bye, kinky. You served us well.
For anyone who has experienced this firsthand, you know this can be traumatic– for the whole family. I’m not going to lie, that bink was as much my BFF as it was hers. It was my little insurance policy, KWIM? I was so used to always having it there to fall back on in the event of a boo-boo or a meltdown in the grocery store. Now what was I going to do? I guess I’m going to find out.
Overall, I have to admit I’m really proud of my big girl. Like most changes I throw at her, she has taken this in stride. She has gone to sleep without tears since Friday. She’s a trooper! I plan on getting serious about potty training after the holidays and I can only hope we make that transition as smoothly as this one. Fingers crossed.

Dear Douchy Dad at the playground,

I apologize for mistaking you for my neighbor’s husband; I have never met the guy in person and I thought you might be him. I realize I probably looked a bit frightening in my sweaty/out of breath/can barely walk post-run state, but you didn’t need to get all weird and uncomfortable when your kid wanted to play with my kid, you freak show. This isn’t Wisteria Lane and I wasn’t trying to mack on you. Trust me, if I came to the playground to pick up guys I might actually have put on some make up or, at the very least, deodorant. And don’t think I didn’t notice you were rolling in a Hyundai, so you can drop the attitude and quit pretending you’re checking your Blackberry. I can assure you, if I was looking to hook up, it wouldn’t be with you.

how did that happen?

A year?! It’s been an entire year since my last post? How the hell did that happen? I swear, I blogged in my head—it just never made it to the screen. I haven’t exactly been slacking for the past year. I made a new person; that counts for something, right? And I’m currently running the show on my own as Uncle Sam had plans for my DH that have taken him away for a bit. Some days it can be a little overwhelming, but my girls keep me laughing through it all, no time to stay down for long.
I’m finally starting to get excited about Christmas! I was a little bummed, but once I decorated our little tree and put out some decorations, I started to get into the spirit of things. It helps that Bunny has taken to singing Christmas carols every day. Her favorites this week: Jingle Bells and Deck the halls. She has her own version of each song, of course…I call it the ‘re-mix,’ lol. It’s like listening to my mom sing along to the radio. Lyrics be damned!

wordless wednesday

poop

So, I’ll preface this post by saying I am pretty ritualistic about handling certain baby situations. I have ‘my’ way of doing things—this way has evolved from experience.

e.g.: Poopy diapers

I always set up the diaper and pull out three wipes– I get in a position where I can contain/control the situation to avoid things like Bunny rolling over, putting her hands in the poo, things of that nature. DH has more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type of style where he just dives in to the shit without staging his equipment. This usually results in chaos and a panic-stricken yell “Will you come help me, please? Here—take this…” and something gross is handed to me.

Tonight was no exception. He hollered and I came running. We were in POO-CON 3 and it was not looking good. I’m not usually one to describe excrement, but to get the full impact of the situation you must know that we were dealing with very sticky bunny-like turds and to compound the grossness, there was corn involved. I will leave it there. I’ve already said too much.

As usual, I was on disposal duty so I made a beeline for the commode and DH cleaned up our girl. I get back to what I was doing in the kitchen and they go back to watching the new Indiana Jones movie (which may possibly have been the cause of the monster BM, as sadly, it was pure shit) all was right in the universe again…

Until it wasn’t.

I hear DH, “What are you playing with? Is that?? Oh my God! She has shit all over her!” And she did. My poor baby had sticky bunny shit all over her hands, face, in her ear…it was SO gross but all I could do was laugh and say something about Braveheart.

I am a bad mom.**hangs head**

DH grabs her hands and I start doing the best I can with wet-wipes – not the least bit effective. The sad thing is, she is so damn mad that we are taking away her new toys. She was yelling and trying to grab at the poo I was taking away from her. Finally, we stripped her down and he put her in the tub. And there I was, left to clean up the remnants of poo on the carpet…all the while I am thinking how the fuck did this happen? I can see a renegade nugget getting off the reservation, but she must have had a handful of it! Why won’t guys just SLOW DOWN and do things like a normal person (read: why the eff won’t he do it my way???)? I hope he learned his lesson from this sufficiently traumatizing event. Who knows?

I’ll tell you what I do know—my girl does a mean William Wallace.

ain’t it funny…

how you have things all worked out in your head on just how things will be with you LO….then they become little people with their own opinions and blow your plans all away to crap!

I didn’t make a lot of predictions, but I do distinctly remember DH and I saying that we’d never be the kind of parents whose world revolved only around the kid and whose house had toys all over it.

Ummmmm, yeah. That is US.

I never thought I would get my kid anything with characters on it b/c I always thought it looked tacky or cheap.

Ummmmm, yeah, Elmo and Dora are now a permanent part of my decor.

Since before Bunny was born, I have been planning to get her any Anywhere Chair from Pottery Barn. I had it all picked out in my head.  So tonight we were in EvilMart and she sees this Dora sofa-fold-out-sleeper-thing and her face lights up and she’s pointing…I got her out of the cart and let her sit on it and she is just beaming– smile from ear to ear. I knew my dreams of the perfect little PB chair just went right down the drain.

How could I begrudge her this little sofa of happiness? Sure is was tacky and made of polyester, but it makes her happy. Kids don’t care about embroidery and natural fabrics– she wants to sit on Dora and Boots. Besides, I don’t want to be THAT MOM. You know, the mom who imposes her will and hang-ups on her kids.

This is a valuable lesson and the sooner I learn it, the better: It’s not about what I like! It’s about what she likes– especially when it is a gift for her! I know I would walk across hot coals to make her smile, so this cheesy little couch is a small price to pay, right?

girl, i got you

Tonight I was shopping at WalMart with Bunny in the Ergo. It was around dinner time so I knew she had a limited shelf life, not to mention it was really hot today and her little body next to mine was WARM.  Sooooo, she’s been doing so well with signing lately and I am really trying to reinforce her signs with the proper action (whatever she is asking me for). She started signing for milk. Milk, milk, milk…she was adamant about it. I felt so bad b/c I forgot her sippy cup and I knew she was getting hungry and worse yet, was probably thirsty.  I did what I had to do for my girl– I popped a boob in her mouth right there in the coffee aisle. I was pretty slick about it and I happened to be wearing a button down shirt and it worked perfectly. She got a few sips of bunnymilk and she was good to go.

I have to admit, when it was over, I really felt good. I looked into her big blue eyes and I knew that she knew I had her back– no matter what.  Even in the middle of WalMart.

GFY, summer cold

Yeah, I’m talking to you, you sneaky bastard. Way to blindside me. I just freaking love having a cough, a stuffy nose and sweating from the heat at the same time.  Everyone knows they call it a cold because it’s only supposed to happen when it’s COLD outside. A summer cold? It’s an oxymoron and it’s just plain bullshit.

Summer cold, you are a douche.